As I was lying in my pit suffering from Man Zika Flu (It’s like regular man-flu but much much worse!) whilst playing Call of Zombie Candy Soda Crush Palaver on my mobile phone as I was about to beat level 3 gazillion for a chance of extra time…. Bang! My phone flashed a message saying my SIM was Invalid!
Damn you Crush Zombie Candy Palaver! either it didn’t want me to win or (more likely) my SIM just got fed up with the tedium of Whatsapping, SnapFest Selfies and TwitBook and lost the will to carry on…
Great! No Phone Calls, Texts etc etc… For many this would be either sheer bliss or hell on earth, the sound of silence descends and I’m forced to leave my bed (it’s only 2pm in the afternoon). Using another device I try and log onto my Mobile Providers support pages… After 30 minutes I felt the optimism in me drain as quickly as Corbyn’s chances of winning a General election… There was little choice, I was forced to go old school, remove the cobwebs and dust that gathered on my Bakelite Land Line Handset and earpiece… I was shocked it still worked, no one ever calls it (except PPI Cold Callers), and dial in the numbers on the rotary number pad to contact my Mobile Networks support centre.
All was good, they confirmed they couldn’t see a problem, Apologised and will send a new SIM out and it will be with me in the morning….
I was forced to get out of bed at some ungodly hour (around 8am) I sat patiently by the letter box on all fours waiting to bite the postman ankles if my SIM didn’t arrive… The Postman did, but sans package…
There was no choice, I had to drop my hermit lifestyle existence, leave the house and drive the 30-40 miles in my bare feet in the snow wearing clothes made out of old sacks… to my nearest Mobile Network operators high street presence and infect the general public with my Man Zika Flu, which has probably weaponised by now given the incubation period…
I explain to the uninterested representative behind the counter my predicament and just need a new SIM swap out and I’ll be back in quarantine happily playing Crush Soda Zombie Queen Palaver in no time at all. Having provided a plethora of Photo ID, Urine Sample, Blood, Dental Records, Four Eye Witnesses, Inside Leg Measurements and DNA Swabs to prove who I am, and with the affected phone and errant SIM in hand… “Computer Says No!”
The representative asks for the password on my account. At this point the store with a gazillion and one, newly infected Man Zika Flu victims fall totally silent, smart devices in hand as their ears turn to listen to me have to repeat for the 17th time what my Password is. Even the poor chap to the left of me had to say, he said his password was …..
The point of protecting your identity to prove who you are includes various challenges, proof of ID, Information you would only know, such as the amount on your last bill or your password. But when you are in public space large corporations should be doing more to provide training to both staff and customers alike. For example it would be better if I was able to enter the password directly on their system, or use a piece of paper/smart device to write down the password and then destroy it. But it’s not good when all the pieces of information required to access and make changes to your account have to be discussed in public without any privacy afforded to you. Sadly the representative was oblivious to the situation I was now put in, as I explained I need to change my password now as the entire store heard the entire transaction….
There’s an advert currently running for a large Mobile Telecoms Provider which stars a Cat with the caption “Be More Dog!”. I would suggest this mobile provider be more Cat.
Ok, Rant Over… Thankfully, I can return to a state of self loathing, get wrapped up warm and try and beat that level on Call of Candy Zombie Crush Palaver Wars 3….
Cat’s are, let’s face it, more intelligent and would think before asking for your Password in a public place. Which reminds me, I thought this Diary below summed it up well!