When I were a lad…

Back when I were a kid, we had :-

  • Lead toys painted with arsenic to put in our mouths.
  • Our parents read bedtime stories from Haynes how to manuals for :-
    • How to Climb interior Chimney Stack and remove the soot (Ages 3-5)
    • Munition Shell cleaning for toddlers (Ages 2-4)
    • The art of Pick a pocket or two (all ages)
    • Matchstick Making (All Ages)
    • Parkour and Steeplejacking for 2 years olds.
  • We’d wear clothes made out of old sacks (The Posh ones did at least) and the choice of colour was soot black or wholesome dirt.
  • And walk home 23 miles in our bare feet (well you had to go where the work was) after a 27 hour shift.
  • The only colour of face painting was purple because of ring worm…
  • Nursery Rhymes reminding us to stay away from people with colds because we will probably die…  (A Tishoo… A Tishoo)
    • Sorry about that must be hay fever or something…😱
  • And we’d all fear the child catcher…

This was of course necessary to earn our keep in the hope we’d get a bowl of gruel.  We usually ate 2-3 times a week, unlike that spoilt Oliver fat fella who was guaranteed a daily meal and never satisfied…

Fast forward to today however, I feel I’ve toughened up over those years but nothing, NOTHING could prepare me for this song…

Kids today, don’t know they’re born…

🤦‍♂️

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One Response to When I were a lad…

  1. ladyofsalzburg says:

    What the actual…?

    Liked by 1 person

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